Now is the time to begin loving yourself!
Reflecting upon the holidays shows me that many of us are feeling the need to perform. Performance is when a person behaves in a particular way for another group of people. The phone ringing off the hook for counseling proves all the anxiety exhibited during this time. The reason for so much performance is because we consider our true self as unworthy.
The fear of intimacy is a big indicator that a person does not have love for himself. Yada defines intimacy as “to know.” Physically this means to know ones body and emotionally this means to know whom a person is. We fear for people “to know” us because deep down inside we believe we are unworthy and unlovable and then escape this fear by performing. Be encouraged with the truth; you are a masterpiece worth knowing and loving. Choose love for yourself today.
Author Andre’ Bustanoby explains this idea, “we must identify self-hatred before we can have self-love.”
Symptoms of self-hatred are the following:
1. Wearing things that make you feel unattractive.
2. Debt- house, cars, credit card etc.
3. Working for a sadistic employer.
5. Enslavement to an addiction.
6. Spending beyond your means.
7. Allowing yourself to be bullied by a spouse or other.
8. Pretending a lifestyle that is not your authentic self (image- your spouse thinks you like him/her when you are really miserable).
9. Allowing people to take advantage of you emotionally or physically/sexually.
11. Paying bills late or turning in assignments late, showing up to work late.
12. Staying with a partner who degrades you.
13. Immature behavior
14. Let others take care of you instead of taking care of yourself.
15. Staying in a relationship with a sadistic male.
16. Staying in a relationship with a castrating female.
17. Laziness- lack of exercise.
18. Staying in a job you do not enjoy.
Write a list on paper of your own symptoms of self-hatred.
Write a list on paper of why you are lovable and worth knowing.
Work on getting rid of the hatred you have for self. Choose self-love today.
In due time it becomes more painful for individuals to continue with their symptoms of self-hatred. Often self-hatred becomes harder than self-love.
Stop being miserable and choose self-love today. In no time you will find your self in destiny, a place you could not have imagined.
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