Anger - is an outward expression of a belief I cannot handle.
Anxiety - is a nervous expression of a belief I cannot handle.
Depression - is an inward expression of a belief I cannot handle.
What is the belief that you cannot handle?
2 Types of Beliefs-
1. Core Belief - (often your negative theme) example “I am worthless.”
2. Situational Belief - example “I think I am going to lose my home.”
Steps to a Feeling Change
1. Identify the belief – example “I am worthless.”
2. Ask yourself if the belief is true or a lie?
If the belief is a LIE- we must make a cognitive (thinking) change.
1. Dispute the lie- example “I am not worthless.”
2. Replace it with the truth- example “I have worth and I have a unique fingerprint.”
3. Say this over and over again until you believe it. We call this self- talk.
If the belief is TRUE- we must make a behavior change.
Example- A young man is 400 lbs. and he wakes up one day and says, “I am depressed because I am fat.” He cannot dispute the lie and replace it with the truth because it is true. He must make a behavioral change; find a nutritionist, exercise and diet. As he makes the behavior change the thinking change comes shortly after the behavioral change to tell them he will not always be like this. One day they he wakes up to realize he has lost 125 lbs.
A behavior change must be made with any belief that is true.
STEPS TO DISCOVER THE BELIEF YOU CANNOT HANDLE- EXAMPLE
I feel angry.
What does that mean? My son- in -law left my daughter.
What does that mean? My grandchildren are hurt.
What does that mean? I am their grandma and I couldn’t protect them.
What does that mean? I am inadequate.
This is the belief. It is not true. They must dispute this lie to feel differently. ·
You will know you discovered the belief you cannot handle when you are using the “I” statement because when a person feels a feeling it is about them.
Example for you to fill out on belief you cannot handle
I feel _________________.What does that mean? ____________________________ What does that mean? ____________________________ What does that mean? ____________________________ What does that mean? ____________________________(When you feel the emotion, you are there)
If you would like a counseling session by phone or in person to figure out the belief you cannot handle please call (561) 422-4226.
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